Things Have Been Looking Up!

So a lot has happened in the last two months. I guess maybe not so, so much, but I feel like things have changed for the better mostly. I have a new boyfriend who's wonderful and so amazing that I can't believe how lucky I am to have met him and have him in my life! (That was a bad run-on sentence.) He makes me feel so great and makes me want to be a better person.Then he says things that I've only dreamt of someone saying to me. I think that me and him are really great together. I just hope I don't end up smothering him or something (although he says he wouldn't stop loving me).

I'm also in the middle of a move. I'm going to live with my brother and his family in California, which is honestly something great. I need to leave Vegas and get away from my mom. I love her but she's just too controlling and I feel like I'm being suffocated.

I guess that's about it for now. Um yeah! Bye!

February 4, 2013

These last few months...since maybe September or so I really haven't been doing much for myself. Well I haven't been expressing myself. Definitely not in the way I'd like to or enough for how I should be. It always helps though when I listen to music that really means something to the artist who wrote it. And really not the love songs either, at least not the obvious love songs. I just was listening to some POP ETC/Morning Benders and they're songs are really incredible. If you haven't heard anything from them you should go listen. Here.

Look I spoiled you. Haha! No really though. I haven't taken the time to really take in all of the lyrics but the way he sings it and the music they play I think shows the feeling...? (Sometimes I think my way of viewing music is weird so I'm not sure if you're getting what I'm saying here.)

Tonight when I listened I kinda felt like just saying that I know I'm really not anyone special but I want to be. I'm very ordinary and basically a nobody, but I think I could be someone more if I really try hard enough.

New Year, New World

Isn't it kind of funny how a day's difference can feel like so much of a change? Just because a new calendar begins people decide to do things and make a big difference in their lives. I know it's silly but I do things like that too (doesn't everyone?). This year has started out to be pretty nice, but I don't want to say anything too quickly! I usually have bad luck with everything so I don't want to jink it. My resolution is to move north, closer to Seattle, and closer to my goals. I resolved that I will do that this year and nothing will stop me!! I really need it and even though my family worries, I know I can take care of myself. I have lazy tendencies around the house but that's because I can be. When I know no one will do something but me, then I stop being lazy. Which is a bit bad, I know, but that's how it is.When I talk to my family about moving, they always seem to say things that are meant to make me not want to go. Because for some reason my family all wants me to stay with them. They should know that I can't because I need my own space, just like they do.

What do you want to do this year?

The State of Dreaming

This entry isn't just about this song. I will speak about it but it's also about the underlying meaning behind the lyrics and how they relate to my life. I read somewhere that she wrote this song about Marilyn Monroe and how she must have really felt. I know that she wasn't some perfect person and that's part of the reason I love her. She was someone real who was just trying to find her own happiness. Unfortunately, she made her mark and left the Earth too soon. She's one of the few artists who is well known that really just wanted to be loved and do her best. I relate to her in the way that that's all I can ask for. It's not easy for everyone to just do what they love and be great. Anyways, This song is a great song and really makes me think. The lyric that really gets to me is something that Marilyn said herself; "All I really want is to be wonderful." Something that seems so easy and it really isn't that easy. Also, I think this song says a lot to that one quote. Like the recurring line of "I would sell my sorry soul, if I could have it all." That desperate need to have the life that you've always dreamed of. I'm sure it's something most everyone can relate to.

I think I've started to just ramble now so I'm going to end this post. But Marilyn's someone that I hold close to my heart, because of her heart and love.

December 13, 2012

So today I'm going to just spout whatever comes to mind. These last three days I had off from work, and I planned on doing really useful things, like cleaning my bathroom (which I did start and got distracted from) and making a video or two. Maybe write a song or something. But...I did none of it. I'm so disappointed in myself. Especially because work is going to be taking up a lot of my time in the next few weeks. I think I might just have to force myself to write while I'm there or something. I just really need to get out of this lazy slump and do something!!

Speaking of work, I've gotten a lot of money saved up from it. I'm hoping to have enough saved by April and maybe May, to move to Oregon.My sister and her boyfriend said I'd need about $4000 so that's what I'm saving up for. I have about $300 saved so far, but I'm planning on spending pretty much nothing from my checks except to pay my phone bill or basic need stuff. According to Mint.com, I'd need to save $900 a month to get there by April. Which isn't too bad. I'm getting paid pretty well, and if I work holidays I get paid more. So That's what I'm trying to do. Christmas, New Year's Eve and New Year's day. I don't really have anything to do those days anyways so I don't mind. I'd rather work and get out of this stupid place as soon as I can, than stay here and do the little things I can do here.

So I just took a few minutes of listening to music and completely forgot anything else I had in mind to write. That's just like me...

Ao Haru Ride/ Blue Springs Ride

This manga is one that I really enjoy. I follow the posts on Tumblr to see fan art and videos people make. It's just one of those Shojo manga that really gets to me. But the last few chapters have really gotten to me. The main girl character (Futaba) has been trying to read the main guy character (Kou) and it's been really frustrating cause we all know that he does care for her too! The thing is though that like this girl from his old school came to visit him and there were kisses and accidental kisses...it's just becoming too much. I feel like I'm feeling Futaba's feelings with this. I mean he's almost jerking her around without caring what could happen. It's just like, why???? Why is Sakasaki Io writing the story like this? Kou is supposed to not do the things that he does in Chapter 23. It's so incredible frustrating and annoying. But I have to keep reading it. *sigh* The joys of fandom, right?

November 9, 2012

So right now I'm sitting at my desk at work. Being bored cause no one's calling. And there's nothing to do. But you know, it's really not that bad. After all, I'm getting paid to sit here doing nothing and if I weren't here I'd be at home wasting my life away. D: So I'm happy to be here. It's actually a really nice job. The people I work with are all really nice and everything. If I stay at this job for the time I stay in Vegas, then I'd be happy.

Speaking of Vegas, I think I might just stay for the whole six months with my mom...but at the same time I'm not sure, since she always tells me to go to bed. Even my younger, older sister thinks that's ridiculous. So I'll just have to see how things go and save up my money. I have this bad habit of wanting things and wanting to spend money on said things once I have the money. I need to break out of that habit really bad. Buuuuut I am going to get my credit card soon~. Haha I still need to know how to spend my money right.

I think that's all I've got to say.